Helping Our Loved Ones to GIVE During the Holidays!

Our loved ones have dependency needs and sometimes that can make them feel 'superfluous' as my Mom used to say. More than anything, my Mom wanted to feel useful - she loved helping others! Christmas in our family was one time that we could help Mom to give. 

(NOTE: My Mom passed away on August 16 of this year and this Christmas will be very different for our family, but that's a subject for my next blog post.) 

Nicholas loves to give presents as well. As a matter of fact, today Jim is out hitting the shops with him. They're going for holiday haircuts at a trendy men's barbershop and then they're going to buy everything on Nick's giving list. Nicholas gives a lot of thought to choosing just the right present for his friends, helpers and family. 

If you are searching for something special to make and give with your loved one, you could try one of these personal favourites of mine: Spiced pecans or Cranberry Pistachio Christmas bark. Here are the recipes...

Spiced Pecans

2 cups Pecan Halves
1 1/2 Tbsp. butter
1 tsp salt
2 tsp soy sauce
1/4 tsp Tabasco sauce


Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Place pecans on a baking sheet. Melt butter and add remaining ingredients. Pour over pecans and toss with your hands, then spread evenly on the pan. Bake 15 minutes. Stir and toss again - then decant into pretty jars. I got mine at the Dollar store!

Cranberry Pistachio Christmas Bark

1 lb. White Chocolate (I use Baker's brand)
1 cup dried Cranberries
1 cup shelled, salted pistachios

Melt chocolate in the microwave (no more than 2 minutes at first, then in one minute increments after that, stirring till it's all melted)
Add the cranberries and pistachios and stir well. 
Line a cooking sheet with foil and spread the chocolate/fruit/nut mixture thinly on the foil.
Refrigerate till firm and cold, then break up into smaller pieces.

Your loved ones can help, even if it's just by tasting and helping to stir (Nick stirs with my hand over his). Each step in a simple recipe is an opportunity to contribute. My Mom didn't like to cook, but she loved to give. AND we chatted as I cooked - then she just beamed as she gave her friends and helpers their homemade
gifts. Giving is powerful medicine for anyone who feels a little bit 'superfluous' over the holidays. 

Helping Your Loved One to Give During the Holidays

I posted this two years ago, but the message is still just as vital, I think. How can we help our loved ones to give during the Holidays? Giving is a powerful sign of personhood, of contribution and our loved ones want to give those they love, too! How can we help do that? Here are my thoughts and a bit about what we do in my family.  Merry Christmas, everyone! And Happy Hanukkah too!

The last few days, I have been thinking about the privilege of giving.  This is a story that came to mind:

I was just 22 years old when my husband Jim and I were posted to Moscow in 1978.  It was the Brezhnev era and we were nervous about living in a faraway foreign land. But, Jim and I had slogged over Russian language lessons for a year before we left, so we felt somewhat prepared.  Of course, that was a long time ago and way before our children arrived on the scene.

Our time in the USSR was a great adventure and we made good friends both in the diplomatic corps and within the 'refuznik' community of Muscovites (those who had applied to leave Russia, but had been refused an exit visa). 

Jim and I assumed that Eastern Europe would be our future work focus, but when Nicholas was born with disabilities, those plans were de-railed.  In fact, our colleague and friend from our 1970's Moscow days, Rod Irwin, was later named Canadian Ambassador to the Russian Federation. 

It was Rod's wife Penny who introduced me to the remarkable Moscow charity, Maria's Children.  Maria Yeliseyeva is a Moscow artist who has taught painting and textile arts to, over the years, thousands of orphans, including those with disabilities.  A few years ago, when Penny and Rod returned to Canada from their time in the Ambassador's official residence in Moscow, Penny dropped over to give me a gift.  It was a quilt.  Not a large bedspread type of quilt, but an artwork depicting a Russian countryside winter scene.  It was beautiful.  It was clearly made with joy, imagination and love, not to mention great skill. 

Penny told me her story of visiting Maria's Children and noticing the children with cerebral palsy.  She told Maria about our family and about Nicholas.  Maria pressed the quilted picture into Penny's hand, saying "Please take this and give it to your friend in Canada.  It will be a great thrill to the children who made it.  You see, they have grown up in an orphanage and they have never before given a gift to anyone.  This is a great opportunity for them."

I've never forgotten those children and their gift to us. 

At this time of year, that story reminds me of the importance of helping our loved ones continue their traditions of giving, even if they are infirm, ill or disabled.  This year, my Mum has not been well, so I made cheese balls which I wrapped with cards for her special friends and helpers.  She is so happy to know that her friends will receive a Christmas gift from her that says not only, "You are one of my favourite people", but also, "I may need a lot of help these days, but I can still give too!"

One of my favourite things to make and give with Nicholas is white chocolate bark candy.  It's become a real tradition in our house and we all love it.  It's so easy, but it looks gorgeous and when it's presented in clear plastic bags and tied with ribbon, it's a great gift that everyone is thrilled to receive.

So, here's our recipe for White Chocolate Bark:

Ingredients

• 1 lb (454 g) white chocolate, chopped (We use Baker's brand)
• 1 cup (250 mL) dried cranberries
• 1 cup (250 mL) pistachio nuts, shelled

Preparation

In bowl (plastic or glass), melt chocolate in microwave according to package directions. Stir in cranberries and pistachios. Pour onto foil-lined baking sheet; using palette knife or rubber spatula spread into 12- x 9- inch (30 x 23 cm) rectangle.

Refrigerate for at least 1 hour or until hardened. Break into pieces.

The hardest part of making this recipe is shelling the pistachios.  My daughter Natalie loves this job though, and so do I.  (We eat quite a few as we're 'working'!)  It's just lovely to sit around the table and chat as we're shelling.  Nicholas helps to stir in the cranberries and nuts.  Of course, he's the official taster as well! Note: this year I didn't have time to shell the nuts, so I bought the more expensive shelled version. 

I hope the loved ones in your family have the opportunity to give at this time of year.  I would love to hear your stories of enabled giving and please do share your recipes if your gifts are edible!

Helping Your Loved One to Give Over The Holidays

The last few days, I have been thinking about the privilege of giving.  This is a story that came to mind:

I was just 22 years old when my husband Jim and I were posted to Moscow in 1978.  It was the Brezhnev era and we were nervous about living in a faraway foreign land. But, Jim and I had slogged over Russian language lessons for a year before we left, so we felt somewhat prepared.  Of course, that was a long time ago and way before our children arrived on the scene.

Our time in the USSR was a great adventure and we made good friends both in the diplomatic corps and within the 'refuznik' community of Muscovites (those who had applied to leave Russia, but had been refused an exit visa).

Jim and I assumed that Eastern Europe would be our future work focus, but when Nicholas was born with disabilities, those plans were de-railed.  In fact, our colleague and friend from our 1970's Moscow days, Rod Irwin, was later named Canadian Ambassador to the Russian Federation.

It was Rod's wife Penny who introduced me to the remarkable Moscow charity, Maria's Children.  Maria Yeliseyeva is a Moscow artist who has taught painting and textile arts to, over the years, thousands of orphans, including those with disabilities.  A few years ago, when Penny and Rod returned to Canada from their time in the Ambassador's official residence in Moscow, Penny dropped over to give me a gift.  It was a quilt.  Not a large bedspread type of quilt, but an artwork depicting a Russian countryside winter scene.  It was beautiful.  It was clearly made with joy, imagination and love, not to mention great skill. 

Penny told me her story of visiting Maria's Children and noticing the children with cerebral palsy.  She told Maria about our family and about Nicholas.  Maria pressed the quilted picture into Penny's hand, saying "Please take this and give it to your friend in Canada.  It will be a great thrill to the children who made it.  You see, they have grown up in an orphanage and they have never before given a gift to anyone.  This is a great opportunity for them."

I've never forgotten those children and their gift to us.

At this time of year, that story reminds me of the importance of helping our loved ones to continue their traditions of giving, even if they are infirm, ill or disabled.  This year, my Mum has not been well, so I made cheese balls which I wrapped with cards for her special friends and helpers.  She is so happy to know that her friends will receive a Christmas gift from her that says not only, "You are one of my favourite people", but also, "I may need a lot of help these days, but I can still give too!"

One of my favourite things to make and give with Nicholas is white chocolate bark candy.  It's become a real tradition in our house and we all love it.  It's so easy, but it looks gorgeous and when it's presented in clear plastic bags and tied with ribbon, it's a great gift that everyone is thrilled to receive.

So, here's our recipe for White Chocolate Bark:

Ingredients

• 1 lb (454 g) white chocolate, chopped (We use Baker's brand)
• 1 cup (250 mL) dried cranberries
• 1 cup (250 mL) pistachio nuts, shelled

Preparation

In bowl (plastic or glass), melt chocolate in microwave according to package directions. Stir in cranberries and pistachios. Pour onto foil-lined baking sheet; using palette knife or rubber spatula spread into 12- x 9- inch (30 x 23 cm) rectangle.

Refrigerate for at least 1 hour or until hardened. Break into pieces.

The hardest part of making this recipe is shelling the pistachios.  My daughter Natalie loves this job though, and so do I.  (We eat quite a few as we're 'working'!)  It's just lovely to sit around the table and chat as we're shelling.  Nicholas helps to stir in the cranberries and nuts.  Of course, he's the official taster as well!

I hope everyone in your family has the opportunity to give at this time of year.  I would love to hear your stories of enabled giving and please do share your recipes if your gifts are edible!

A Caregiver Christmas

Christmas is a stressful time for caregivers.  We buy gifts for our own families, help our loved ones to give, cook our best loved traditional recipes, enable and host holiday social events, all while carrying out our usual caregiving tasks.  We love to give, but we need others to remember our needs, too.

The act of giving thoughtful gifts is potent medicine.  Last Christmas, I wrote a post about the power of giving, especially at Christmas.  My Mom loves to give gifts to her children and grandchildren, but she can't get out to shop anymore.  This year, my sister and I are helping her to feel empowered by giving.  We are exploring online shopping with Mom using the Ipad that we gave her for her 90th birthday two years ago.  Giving is a potent enabler for everyone.  This is a story that I wrote last year:

I was just 22 years old when my husband Jim and I were posted to Moscow in 1978.  It was the Brezhnev era and we were nervous about living in a faraway foreign land. But, Jim and I had slogged over Russian language lessons for a year before we left, so we felt somewhat prepared.  Of course, that was a long time ago and way before our children arrived on the scene.

Our time in the USSR was a great adventure and we made good friends both in the diplomatic corps and within the 'refuznik' community of Muscovites (those who had applied to leave Russia, but had been refused an exit visa).

Jim and I assumed that Eastern Europe would be our future work focus, but when Nicholas was born with disabilities, those plans were de-railed.  In fact, our colleague and friend from our 1970's Moscow days, Rod Irwin, was later named Canadian Ambassador to the Russian Federation.

It was Rod's wife Penny who introduced me to the remarkable Moscow charity, Maria's Children.  Maria Yeliseyeva is a Moscow artist who has taught painting and textile arts to, over the years, thousands of orphans, including those with disabilities.  A few years ago, when Penny and Rod returned to Canada from their time in the Ambassador's official residence in Moscow, Penny dropped over to give me a gift.  It was a quilt.  Not a large bedspread type of quilt, but an artwork depicting a Russian countryside winter scene.  It was beautiful.  It was clearly made with joy, imagination and love, not to mention great skill.

Penny told me her story of visiting Maria's Children and noticing the children with cerebral palsy.  She told Maria about our family and about Nicholas.  Maria pressed the quilted picture into Penny's hand, saying "Please take this and give it to your friend in Canada.  It will be a great thrill to the children who made it.  You see, they have grown up in an orphanage and they have never before given a gift to anyone.  This is a great opportunity for them."

I've never forgotten those children and their gift to us.

I wonder who gives a gift to Maria, though.  Who cares for the caregiver?  If she is like a lot of folks who spend all their time tending to the needs of others, she might not even know what a gift of self-comfort might look like.  Caregivers need to take ownership of their own needs, especially if they are caring for someone over the long term.  So, make a list of gift ideas for yourself today.  If you think, "What could I ask for?", start HERE.

Giving comes in many forms....giving to others, helping others to give and enabling others to give to you.  All these types of giving are good for the mind, body and soul.  But remember the most important person on your list - you!  'Tis the season!

Enabled Giving at Christmas or Hannukah

The last few days, I have been thinking about the privilege of giving.  This is a story that came to mind:

I was just 22 years old when my husband Jim and I were posted to Moscow in 1978.  It was the Brezhnev era and we were nervous about living in a faraway foreign land. But, Jim and I had slogged over Russian language lessons for a year before we left, so we felt somewhat prepared.  Of course, that was a long time ago and way before our children arrived on the scene.

Our time in the USSR was a great adventure and we made good friends both in the diplomatic corps and within the 'refuznik' community of Muscovites (those who had applied to leave Russia, but had been refused an exit visa).

Jim and I assumed that Eastern Europe would be our future work focus, but when Nicholas was born with disabilities, those plans were de-railed.  In fact, our colleague and friend from our 1970's Moscow days, Rod Irwin, was later named Canadian Ambassador to the Russian Federation.

It was Rod's wife Penny who introduced me to the remarkable Moscow charity, Maria's Children.  Maria Yeliseyeva is a Moscow artist who has taught painting and textile arts to, over the years, thousands of orphans, including those with disabilities.  A few years ago, when Penny and Rod returned to Canada from their time in the Ambassador's official residence in Moscow, Penny dropped over to give me a gift.  It was a quilt.  Not a large bedspread type of quilt, but an artwork depicting a Russian countryside winter scene.  It was beautiful.  It was clearly made with joy, imagination and love, not to mention great skill.

Penny told me her story of visiting Maria's Children and noticing the children with cerebral palsy.  She told Maria about our family and about Nicholas.  Maria pressed the quilted picture into Penny's hand, saying "Please take this and give it to your friend in Canada.  It will be a great thrill to the children who made it.  You see, they have grown up in an orphanage and they have never before given a gift to anyone.  This is a great opportunity for them."

I've never forgotten those children and their gift to us.

At this time of year, that story reminds me of the importance of helping our loved ones continue their traditions of giving, even if they are infirm, ill or disabled.  This year, my Mum has not been well, so I made cheese balls which I wrapped with cards for her special friends and helpers.  She is so happy to know that her friends will receive a Christmas gift from her that says not only, "You are one of my favourite people", but also, "I may need a lot of help these days, but I can still give too!"

One of my favourite things to make and give with Nicholas is white chocolate bark candy.  It's become a real tradition in our house and we all love it.  It's so easy, but it looks gorgeous and when it's presented in clear plastic bags and tied with ribbon, it's a great gift that everyone is thrilled to receive.

So, here's our recipe for White Chocolate Bark:

Ingredients

• 1 lb (454 g) white chocolate, chopped (We use Baker's brand)
• 1 cup (250 mL) dried cranberries
• 1 cup (250 mL) pistachio nuts, shelled

Preparation

In bowl (plastic or glass), melt chocolate in microwave according to package directions. Stir in cranberries and pistachios. Pour onto foil-lined baking sheet; using palette knife or rubber spatula spread into 12- x 9- inch (30 x 23 cm) rectangle.

Refrigerate for at least 1 hour or until hardened. Break into pieces.

The hardest part of making this recipe is shelling the pistachios.  My daughter Natalie loves this job though, and so do I.  (We eat quite a few as we're 'working'!)  It's just lovely to sit around the table and chat as we're shelling.  Nicholas helps to stir in the cranberries and nuts.  Of course, he's the official taster as well!

I hope the loved ones in your family have the opportunity to give at this time of year.  I would love to hear your stories of enabled giving and please do share your recipes if your gifts are edible!