Guest Post: In Defense of At-Home Care
When my
grandfather turned ninety, my dad explained to me the meaning of the old
proverb ‘once a man, twice a child’. I’d heard the proverb before, but I’d
never fully understood what it meant. It wasn’t until my dad explained it in
the context of my grandfather’s situation that I discerned the meaning behind
the words.
As impossible as it might seem to me, my grandfather had once been a baby. Like all babies, he had
relied on other people to bathe him, feed him and clothe him. Now, after being
self-sufficient for many years, my grandfather once again required other people
to take care of him. In other words, my grandfather was childlike in terms of
his renewed dependence on other people.
When
my father explained the proverb to me, he reminded me that he, too, would one
day need someone to take care of him. We grow up half-believing that our
parents are invincible, so the idea of my father reaching an age where he was
no longer self-sufficient seemed impossible at the time. Now, many years later,
my father has aged—just as he once warned me that he would. It is my
responsibility to take care of him, the way he used to take care of me.
My
father sacrificed everything for me. He did everything in his power to provide
me with every possible advantage and opportunity. I felt that I owed it to him
to provide the best level of care available, which is why I chose twenty-four
hour at home care over a nursing home.
You
have to understand—this was before I had any experience with at-home care, back when I was
still a sales consultant. I didn’t have access to the information I have now.
When my brothers and I were trying to decide at-home care and a nursing home,
there were two things that trumped all other concerns. The first was our
father’s comfort. The second was his safety.
When
it came to the question of my father’s comfort, it was imperative that we keep
him in his own house for as long as we could. My father has owned his house for
forty years. He worked hard for years to pay off the mortgage and poured sweat,
blood and time into various home improvement projects in an effort to make sure
it was a suitable place to raise a family. That house is more than just a place
my father happens to live—it’s a living part of him, a tangible memory that
connects him to his past.
My brothers
and I knew that forcing my dad out of his home and into a nursing home would
break the old man’s heart. We decided that couldn’t do that to him—not after
everything he’s done for us. That’s why we decided to hire at-home care. With
twenty-four hour home care, my father doesn’t have to leave the comfort of his
own home.
Safety was the
second thing my family had to take into account when we were considering
whether or not to hire at-home care. When I researched nursing homes online, I
was amazed by the amount of physical, emotional and sexual abuse that occurs in
adult care facilities. According to an article by ABC News, patients
are abused by their caretakers in approximately 1 out of every 3 facilities.
The article,
which sites a study conducted by the Special Investigations Division of the
House Government Reform Committee, listed malnutrition, dehydration, inadequate
sanitation/hygiene, untreated bedsores
and inadequate medical care as common problems that plague patients in nursing
home facilities. In light of this article (and many others like it), my
brothers and I decided that at-home care was the safest option for our father.
Everything
we’ve seen since we hired an at-home caretaker has convinced my family and me
that we made the right decision. My father is happier than he’s been since my
mom passed. He gets to keep his house, maintain some semblance of autonomy and he
has company during the day. I don’t know how things would have turned out if
we’d put him in a nursing home, but my brothers and I are all glad we
didn’t—it’s much more satisfying to see him well taken care of and exactly
where he belongs.
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