Monday, 27 February 2017

What I've Learned About Myself Caring For My Mom

For many years I was the primary caregiver in our family for our son who has severe disabilities. Nicholas needed a lot of therapy and was often ill enough to be in the hospital. Those were fraught and exhausting times. Now our son lives in a wonderful care home near our house and his health has been stable (touch wood!) for the last while. What I learned from caring for Nick was an ethic of care that is best expressed in the words love, resilience, determination and forbearance. These lessons my husband and I learned on the fly from our son. He was our teacher. In my book, my search for the meaning of our family experience led me to wonder about what kinds of supports in the community and the country could have helped us to have a life that each of us valued.

Over recent months, my time has been taken up helping my sister to care for our mother who is 95 and growing in frailty and the need for support. Last week, we moved Mom from her apartment in an autonomous seniors' residence where she'd lived for over fifteen years to an assisted living home nearby. Our family is blessed to have found a renovated Victorian home in a wooded park beside a lake. As my sister said, the home feels like a comfortable, old shoe. With less than 20 residents and care staff that treat their elders like family, my Mom is slowly settling in to her new home. As time passes, I'll be writing more on what I'm learning from Mom's new support staff about eldercare with dignity. Already, I've learned important and wonderful lessons.

Today, I'm in a reflective mood. I find myself thinking a lot about my own old age and my own death. I'm analysing the choices I would make in living arrangements when it comes time to make them. "I'll bloom where I am planted", are the words that come to mind. To care and be cared for are not crosses to bear. They are just different ways of living and they are natural.



I remember reading somewhere about a woman who, on entering the room of her long term care home for the first time, declared "this is just lovely." It wasn't a statement of fact, it wasn't even a statement of feeling. It was the declaration of a decision - a decision to be happy, or at least to try. I remember thinking that this was a noble act.



Now, at 61, I am already seven years older than my father was when he died. I'm healthy and active, but I am aware of my snow-white hair. I'm see the creases in my face and in my arms. I admire my Mom's determination to live life by her own terms - we are supporting her the best we can to do what she values most: to choose.

I hope that Mom will choose to be happy in her new home. In the meantime, I've made a decision which I've already shared with my children: when I am old and need care, "I'll bloom where I am planted. I will make a decision to be happy and wherever I land, I'll say, 'this is just lovely'."

Wednesday, 22 February 2017

WINTER CAREGIVER ACHES AND PAINS

I live where the temperature can sometimes dip down to sub-zero numbers. Snow and slush make pushing our son in his wheelchair difficult and my Mom needs support to navigate icy pavement with her walker. Winter is hard on caregivers, that's for sure. If your back is aching these days, read on to feel better! 


Winter Caregiver Aches and Pains
Cold, winter days seem to exacerbate the job of caregiving at times - it takes longer to get our loved ones out for appointments because we have to spend a few extra minutes bundling them up and warming up the car. It’s harder to get out and feel the sunshine on your face because of cold or inclement weather. And we all know caregiving doesn’t take a break for allergies, colds or flu. If you’re feeling the caregiver aches and pains this season, seek relief with these helpful tips and ideas:

  1. Exercise: Power through winter with short spurts of exercise during the day that help your body stay strong, maintain a healthy weight, and produce more endorphins (which make you feel positive and enhances your body’s immune response). Take short brisk walks while your loved one is napping, turn up your favorite song and dance with your loved one, or try yoga in your home (you can find yoga lessons and videos on Netflix, Youtube and other streaming services).

    Colder temperatures commonly cause stiffness and pain to joints and muscles as well. Incorporating daily care routines, including 15 to 20 minutes of exercise each day, can help address inflammation and soreness due to both cold winter weather and caregiving tasks like lifting and moving your loved one.

  1. Splurge on yourself: Don’t go winter wild, but splurge a little on that cozy sweater you have been eyeing or that gourmet hot cocoa you have been wanting to try. Your happiness translates into the happiness of the person you care for, and a special treat can always brighten a dark winter day.

  1. Prevent colds: Aches and pains go hand in hand with winter illnesses - from the acute soreness due to joint inflammation associated with the flu, to sinus pain from seasonal allergies. Caregivers know that their health is a huge priority for maintaining the health of the loved one they care for. Fight back during cold and flu season by:
    1. Regularly disinfecting commonly touched surfaces in the house like railings, phones and door handles
    2. Avoiding large crowds, and especially children with known flu or illness in their classroom
    3. Keeping boxes of tissues and hand sanitizer around the home
    4. Boosting immunity by incorporating healthy winter vegetables into your diet including dark leafy greens rich in iron and Vitamin A, and root vegetables like turnips and parsnips packed with Vitamin C

  1. Talk to others: Stress and anxiety are constant realities of caregiving, and can physically manifest themselves as pain in your body - from tense back muscles to headaches and more. It’s important to address your own health and wellness and alleviate feelings of stress and tension to keep you in top caregiving form. Speaking with others, be it your spouse, family, friends, and even the person you care for, is a great way to express frustrations and vent - and simply saying it out loud can oftentimes lift the burden of guilt associated with having feelings of frustration or anger. Join a community of caregivers to talk and share with including the Caregiver’s Living Room on facebook (https://www.facebook.com/donnathomsonauthor) or other caregiving social networks like The Caregiver Space Community.

Victor Hugo once wrote, “Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.” Don’t forget to find the little things in caregiving that bring a smile to you and your loved one. The aches and pains of winter will give way to the sunny days of spring soon enough, and relief can sometimes come in something as simple as a laugh.

Jessica Hegg is the content manager at ViveHealth.com. Interested in all things related to living a healthy lifestyle she works to share valuable information aimed at overcoming obstacles and improving the quality of life for others.

THANK YOU FOR THIS GUEST POST, JESSICA!

Sunday, 19 February 2017

The Hardest Part of Caregiving: Fostering Meaning and Purpose


“I feel useless. Good for nothing…” my Mom says. I recount back to her the ways she gives to our family and for a moment, she feels like a contributor. Before I leave, Mom pushes a ten dollar bill into my hand. “Here, give this to Nick. He can buy himself a treat.”  "Thanks, Ma", I say, "I know he'll appreciate it."

At Nick’s place, he’s working on putting the finishing touches on a resume with Tom, his helper. Nicholas wants a job at the local hockey arena, or perhaps reviewing Playstation games from the perspective of a person with disabilities. Nick has lots of ideas for part-time employment.

It’s very tricky finding ways for seniors or people with severe disabilities to have real meaning and purpose in their lives. Fulfilling care needs takes time, so only slivers of the day are free for work. Some days, illness or pain gets in the way of the ability to focus on contributing to a cause or carrying on a job search.

I’m always on the lookout for innovative ways that caregivers or other innovators have found to enable purpose in the lives of those with high care needs. I’ve blogged before on this complicated topic. In that post, I described this wonderful online program matching residents of a Chicago seniors’ home with English language students in Brazil. Seniors perform the valuable service of chatting with language students who otherwise would never have the chance to converse with a native English speaker.




Last week, I struck up a conversation with a new friend. He told me that in his home of  Ridgefield, Connecticut, The Prospector Movie Theater provides opportunities for training and employment of people with disabilities.


 It's the only cinema in town and because it runs new release films, it's a highly successful business model. I was intrigued. Here's what the website says about the theater: 

The Prospector Theater is a new model of social enterprise. It pairs a first-run, commercial movie theater with the mission of training and employing adults with disabilities. It's a not-for-profit system, with the competitiveness and transparency of a for-profit business model. It shows how community groups, businesses, and people in the private sector – working together – can improve the quality of lives for those with disabilities, while lessening the financial burden on the government and helping boost employment rates.

And here's how the company describes its employees: 

Our employees, known as Prospects, live a higher quality of life through meaningful employment, and are encouraged to sparkle, shine, and turn their passions into professions.







The Prospects – trained and employed by the Prospector Theater – drive positive change in the behavior and perception of the capability and employability of people with disabilities, opening the doors to large-scale increased meaningful employment outcomes in every business setting. Through pairing Prospects with an appropriate and fitting job, we can ensure that we are developing Prospects’ sparkle, while equipping that individual with the transferrable job skills needed to jump-start their career. If you give a man a fish, he can feed himself for a day. Teach a man how to fish and he can feed himself for a lifetime.


Over the years, I've come to believe that it's not happiness we crave - it's meaning and purpose. In order to feel we're experiencing a rich and full life, we all need to give to a cause outside of ourselves - something that contributes to the greater good. It's a tricky challenge to achieve this for frail elders and for people with disabilities, but it's not impossible. I'm inspired by these innovative models of contribution and I hope you are, too. 

Thursday, 16 February 2017

It Feels Good to Know People are Listening

I was excited to receive two compliments on my blog this week. The first is from Drive DeVilbiss Health Care - they honoured me by listing The Caregivers' Living Room as a 'Top Caregiver Blog'.



And Stairlifts Reviews listed The Caregivers' Living Room as one of the 100 Best Caregiving Blogs.


And after posting this yesterday, I woke up this morning to find that The Caregivers' Living Room had been named by Feedspot as one of 60 Top Aging Blogs on the web. Gosh!



Thank you for listening, for sharing and for supporting caregivers with information and friendship online!

Thursday, 9 February 2017

It's Time to Change The Way We View Exercise For Frail and Critically Ill

I'm posting this guest post from http://evidencenetwork.ca because my Mom has had so much difficult regaining her strength after 3 hospitalisations in the past 4 months. Next time my Mom is in a hospital bed, I'm going to ask for in-bed cycling!


It’s time to change the way we view exercise for frail and critically ill patients

By Michelle Kho

In-bed cycling in critical care units could be a way to improve patient health and save money

A version of this commentary appeared in the Winnipeg Free Press 
It's-time-to-change-the-way-we-view-exercise-for-frail-and-critically-ill-patients

Frail and critically ill patients can safely bike in the intensive care unit, even early in their ICU stay.  These are the exciting findings from an in-bed cycle program that aims to get hospital patients — even in intensive care units — pedalling as soon as possible with therapeutic bicycles, so they are functioning better by the time they leave hospital.
Why throw in a fitness plan for patients who already have so many critical medical issues?  The reason is because patients who are stuck in bed are precisely the patients who need in-bed cycling the most.
Anyone who’s tried hitting the gym or recovered from injury knows that muscles can take weeks to gradually strengthen.  But did you know that muscles only take days to quickly deteriorate?
In fact, many previously active patients are unable to walk when they are discharged from critical care due to profound muscle weakness.  In new research, my colleagues and I show how we start to think of rehabilitation, very early in a patient’s ICU stay to help prevent or minimize this weakness.
What is in-bed cycling?
The in-bed cycle involves a specialized exercise bike that rolls over patients’ beds. These cycles have a motor, can move patients’ legs for them or allow patients to cycle on their own.  Patients stay on their back while their lower legs and feet are secured into slings and pedals while their legs move in a cycling motion.  The in-bed cycle also has video screen that helps motivate more alert patients with animation of their virtual ride.
In-bed cycling is an especially promising early exercise intervention because it targets the legs, particularly hip flexors, which are most vulnerable to muscle atrophy and weakness during bed rest.
Cycle therapy can also safely begin right after resuscitation, while patients are still attached to life support, whether patients are awake or sedatedThat’s right, patients can be pedalling even before they wake up.
We recently conducted a study with frail and critically ill patients connected to machines to help them breathe to see if they could start cycling very early in their ICU stay. Our study found cycle-therapy safe because there were very few times where patients stopped cycling early due to medical concerns — and feasible, because over 90 percent of patients or substitute decision makers who were approached agreed to participate in the study.
So far, our team has trained eight ICU facilities and over 45 physiotherapists across Ontario to provide in-bed cycling in our ongoing research.  The rest of the country is still waiting for cycle therapy.
Here’s why hospitals should review and expand their approach to rehabilitation across the country.
Patients in critical care are rigged up to all sorts of specialized equipment, including machines to support breathing, medication pumps and monitors.  Despite all this investment, few critically ill patients receive exercise, which is key to their recovery.
Without rehabilitation, physical strength quickly deteriorates and patients wind up leaving ICU with new weaknesses acquired in the ICU.  This in turn can result in longer hospital stays, higher risks of mortality and more healthcare costs.
Canada’s population is aging and Canadians over 65 years of age account for 78 percent of the three most expensive types of hospitals stays by diagnosis: cardio-pulmonary disease, pneumonia and heart failure without angiogram.  These are all conditions that require some time in ICU.
Yet, we’ve recently witnessed cutbacks to physiotherapy services in our acute care hospitals.
It’s time to change the way we view exercise for frail and critically ill patients.  As soon as we resuscitate, we need to think of starting rehabilitation interventions, even in the ICU, to optimize their recovery.
Early in-bed cycling is one creative therapeutic approach for critically ill patients, for supporting our aging population, and for potentially saving significant healthcare dollars down the road.

Michelle Kho is an Assistant Professor in the School of Rehabilitation Science at McMaster University, physiotherapist at St. Joseph’s Healthcare Hamilton, and Network Investigator with Canadian Frailty Network.  She holds a Canada Research Chair in Critical Care Rehabilitation and Knowledge Translation.
This entry was posted in Commentaries, Aging Population & Its Potential ImpactCommentaries, Health is More than HealthcareFeaturedOur Commentaries and tagged .
- See more at: http://evidencenetwork.ca/archives/31971#sthash.u11VcZ9M.dpuf

Sunday, 5 February 2017

How Caregiving Changes Us - What Dies, What Grows


Lately I've been thinking a lot about how we change over time as caregivers - the parts of ourselves that die and the new parts that grow. 



What has died in me:

  • An assumption that I will have spontaneity in my life
  • The idea that life would carry on according to my plans
  • The inability to be alone
  • Insecurity in my own abilities to do what I put my mind to
  • Fear of vulnerability
What has grown in me: 
  • The sense of being happy without other people to 'make' me happy
  • Humility in the face of the random nature of what life deals me
  • Confidence in my values and in my advocacy skills
  • Acceptance of my own limitations in keeping my loved ones healthy and safe
  • A growing awareness of my own mortality
What has died in you? What has grown? 

PS: See more images by this artist at http://brookeshaden.com/gallery/

Tuesday, 31 January 2017

CAREGIVER'S FRIEND: Menu and Recipes

I love food and I love to cook. When caregiving at home gets crazy busy though, my favorite recipes are just too time consuming to prepare. That's when I go to my 'under 5 minutes preparation time but delicious' collection.

Here's a sample menu that's very quick to make and so delicious that even the pickiest eaters in your family will love it.

CHICKEN A LA DA SUN



4 Boneless Chicken Breasts or 2 double sided breasts -  cut up into biggish pieces - OR works great with tofu if you are vegetarian
2 onions (peeled and chopped into 1/4s or 1/8s)
1 purple onion (peeled, cut up) *if you have it, if not, forget it and throw in an extra reg. onion
1/2 package of soft, unripened goat cheese, broken up (if very soft, pop it into the freezer for a few minutes and then break it up)
Sweet chili-garlic sauce (approx 1/2 bottle)
Cilantro for decoration and flavor, if you like it.

1. Drizzle a bit of sweet chili sauce on the bottom of the pan. Add chicken, onions and rest of chili sauce.
2. Crumble goat cheese over top
3. Bake at 350 degrees for approx 40 min. Garnish with fresh cilantro

Service with Rice (I find the Uncle Ben's microwave instant rice-in-a-bag is the handiest) and a green salad.

OR if you don't like the sounds of that recipe, try this one:

ZESTY CHICKEN OREGANO

2 1/2 - 3 pound chicken cut up or same amount in breasts or thighs
1/2 cup olive or vegetable oil
1/4 lemon juice
2 tsp dried oregano leaves
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
1 clove garlic, chopped
Lemon slices to garnish

Place chicken pieces in an oblong baking pan. Mix remaining ingredients except lemon slices; pour over chicken. Cook uncovered in 375 oven, spooning mixture over chicken occasionally, 30 minutes. Turn chicken and cook 30 min more or until chicken is cooked through in thickest parts. Garnish with fresh lemon slices.

Serve with couscous (who doesn't love to boil water, add couscous and 3 minutes later, it's ready?!)
And a green salad - I like arugula mixed with dried cranberries and maybe some salted shelled sunflower seeds. But any old salad will do!)

And for dessert:

APPLE TORTE

1 egg
3/4 cup white sugar
3/4 cup or so of sliced apples (about 2)
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup flour
pinch salt

In a bowl, mix egg with a fork together with sugar. Add all other ingredients and pour into a greased, small pie pan (about 6"). Bake at 350 till golden brown.
*Double recipe for larger, regular size pan.

OR

QUICK BROWNIES



1/2 cup butter melted in microwave
Add
2 heaping dessert spoons of cocoa powder
1 cup of sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
3/4 cup flour
and some chopped nuts if you like.

Mix before and after adding flour. BAKE 350 for about 1/2 hour in greased 8" pan.

Enjoy!