The AARP Caregiver Answer Book: My New BFF

 There are few books on the market as practical and helpful as The AARP Caregiver Answer Book by Drs. Barry Jacobs and Julie Mayer. Barry and Julia are husband and wife and they are psychologists who have their own deep personal history of family caregiving. 

Look Inside:

The book is structured using questions that caregivers typically ask, together with answers in the form of narrative experiences that resonated strongly with me. Questions are organised into chapter themes such as Caring for a Parent, Caring for a Spouse, Communicating with Dignity, Day-to-Day Caregiving at Home and Caregiving in a Facility or From a Distance, just to name a few. The authors never skirt around the real suffering that many caregivers endure. But they are realistic about the rewards, too. And they generously share their own hard-earned wisdom: 
"We reflected on the multitude of experiences we'd had and how they had changed us. And they had changed us in ways that weren't all obvious initially. We also felt exhausted. And we felt confident in ways that we hadn't before." 

The authentic compassion of the authors shines through  in deeply comforting phrases such as, "We are all human, and we've done our best given our circumstances." I found the hundreds of caregiving situations that are introduced in the form of questions to be realistic and often very painful. But Drs. Jacobs and Mayer answer with a deep understanding of the complex drama that plays out in caregiving families, often when the very life of a loved one is hanging in the balance. 

"Most caregivers say they think they will look back on it as difficult but worthwhile. Ultimately that does tend to be true. You don't come away from caregiving unscathed, but you almost always come away with more meaning in your life and a sense that you did a good thing or at least the right thing."

This is a wonderful book that I highly recommend to anyone in a caring role. 

To hear more from Dr. Barry Jacobs, listen to my Caregiving Essentials conversation with him about sibling conflict here. Or, listen to Stephanie Muskat's Caregiver's Compass conversation with Barry and Julia here.

And finally, I'm grateful to Feedspot for highlighting The Caregivers' Living Room in their Top 60 Canadian Home Care Blogs!