My Mom grew up summering in Kennebunk Port in Maine - all her best memories are of playing in the sand and surf with her brothers and sister there. Now at 95, she has a powerful wish to return, but I am nervous about travelling with her. This guest post by writer Gary Simmons gives me (and I hope you!) a roadmap for success in vacationing with our older loved ones. NB: If you are caring for a loved one with disabilities, this post is for you, too! Same advices applies. :)
Taking your parents on a trip is a wonderful opportunity for
you to have an engaging experience. Whether your parent lives alone, has home
care coming in or lives with you, you’ll have to think through how to travel
safely and comfortably.
Going on trips with your older parent can present a unique
set of challenges. But it doesn’t have to be challenging if you prepare
properly. You’ll find that some of these ideas will work anytime you take your
older parent out for a trip to the store or elsewhere, but let’s focus on being
away for a week or two — or more.
Don’t be
spontaneous
Trips with older parents need to be planned carefully, even
if you’re going to the family vacation home. Allow more time for each step of
the trip than you would if you were going alone.
I have friends whose vacation home is normally four hours
from their home when they go themselves. When they bring his mother along, they
allow five hours at least from her home, which is a bit closer to the
destination. They know they will have to take more breaks on the road, and the
process of getting mom into and out of the car will take longer.
If you fly, you need to consider layover times. You may be
able to get from Terminal 3 to Terminal 1 at O’Hare Airport in 15 minutes, but
your older parent can’t, even if you can get wheelchair or tram service (which
you should request). Crowded airports add to delays.
If you’re driving, think through how many hours in a day
your older parent can tolerate in the car, and how often you’ll need to stop
for breaks.
When you make hotel reservations, ask about rooms with
raised toilets and easy access to the shower. Request rooms specifically set up
for mobility-limited guests.
Request approval
from their physician
If your parent has any major health conditions, make sure
you request approval from a physician. Their doctor can also advise you on any
limitations, and if additional vaccinations for the destination will be
necessary.
Have all your
paperwork
Even if your elderly parent or parents are no longer driving,
keep their driver’s licenses available or make sure you have their permanent
state-issued ID cards.
To board planes, and some trains and buses, you will need some form of
identification. Making sure their passports stay current is also an excellent
idea.
You should make at least four photocopied sets of the all
the paperwork you bring with you. Having copies of passport, driver’s
license/ID, Medicare and insurance cards, tickets/itinerary, and prescriptions
will prevent potential hassles. Include one set in your carry-bag, while your
elderly relative will carry two — one in his or her carryon, and one in checked
luggage. If you are visiting relatives or friends, also forward a copy onto them
in advance so they also have a record.
Pack lightly and
appropriately
With flying, the question of checked versus carry-on baggage
always arises. If you have a large family group traveling, you may want to
combine items into one large checked suitcase, with everyone also having a
rolling carry-on suitcase. Heavier items, such as coats and sweaters, can go in
the checked bag or bags. Make sure your elderly parent keeps at least one
sweater out for the plane, however, because planes can be chilly.
If you’re driving to the family vacation home, you’ll have a
better idea of what to bring — you know the weather there, as well as the
availability of laundry.
Take advantage of
what’s available
Airports are required to provide cost-free wheelchair
service. Make sure you’ve coordinated that with the airlines. If there’s a meal
service onboard, arrange for dietary needs in advance.
Make sure your elderly parent knows and understands what to
expect during the airport security process, and wears shoes that can be slipped
on and off easily.
Medications
As part of your planning, make sure you have enough of your
parent’s medication with you for the entire trip. If you’re going to your
vacation home, of course, there may be a drug store nearby, which will help.
Pack your medications in the carry-on baggage.
If you are flying, keep the medications in their original
bottles. Liquid and gel medications must comply with the TSA’s 3-1-1
rule, but medications which don’t fit are still allowed — they will just be
screened separately.
Maintaining a complete list of the medications your older
parent takes will be helpful at all stages. If your parent’s primary care
physician can put that list together, it’s even better.
Daily planning
Plan the trip with your elderly parent. Everyone wants to be
included, and including your parent in the planning will help. Choose a hotel
close to sights you want to see to limit the amount of time in the car or when
walking. Research hotels with special amenities for the elderly, such as
complimentary wheelchairs.
Planning together is the most important in a sightseeing
type of trip. Everyone’s ideas of places to see are different, and some
activities may be too strenuous for the elderly. Expect to remain in the same
lodging several days in a row; most people don’t want the strain of repacking
every day.
Your elderly parent will probably want a private bedroom,
which provides privacy and the ability to rest quietly, while the rest of the
family gets involved with something else. Make sure your hotels have elevators,
and if you can, arrange for your elderly relative to be on the ground floor,
especially if they have mobility issues.
Try to coordinate your meal times around their medication.
Some medication must be taken with food and at the same time each day.
Be patient
Most senior caregivers know that the greatest trait they
need is patience. You will have to be patient throughout the trip, as will
everyone else in the party.
Make sure the trip is planned so everyone can enjoy the
travel. Different trips involve different types of planning, of course. If you
go to your family vacation home, then you know the routine. If you’re going
sightseeing, your program should have something for everyone. Regardless, you
will need to be patient with your parent.
Time for yourself
Make sure you have left time for yourself on the trip. You
should not be a caregiver for the entire trip. You should also be a daughter or
son, mother or father, wife or husband, as well as yourself, providing some
relief.
You may want to consider finding a reliable home care agency
in places where you’ll be spending multiple days. When your elderly parent has
a rest day, you can sightsee if you have a companion engaged for the day. Your
parent will feel less of a burden on you, as they will know you can enjoy
yourself on the trip as well.
Traveling isn’t impossible with your elderly parent. It just
requires more planning than you might do for yourself and your own family. But
if you work through all the details, you should have no problem ensuring
everyone will have a wonderful time.
Gary Simmons is a Certified Senior Advisor and Case Manager for A Hand to Hold. He strives to make the home care experience a better one for seniors and their families. Gary lives in Atlanta, GA with his family and loves taking Disney vacations with them.
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