Saturday, 4 January 2014
Overcoming Fear by Moving Forward
Feeling paralysed by the gravity of a decision is a state that most caregivers will know well. We make decisions on behalf of our loved ones, sometimes involving life and death. Medical professionals sometimes press us for a decision that we are not ready to make. Often, we feel unprepared to make life changing decisions on the part of our loved one, just as Martin Pistorius felt when faced with his need to choose his speech generating software.
I like the advice of Pistorius Sr. This father's remark, "Sometimes you just have to choose, even if it turns out badly" changed his Martin's vantage point and freed him to finally act. Like Martin Pistorius, I am a serial information gatherer. But certainly there have been times in our family life when, even with mountains of data, I could not make up my mind about a surgery for Nicholas or a strategy to support my mother.
The next time I find myself stuck at a crossroads, I'm going to choose, even if it turns out badly. And if it does turn out badly, I must remember not to feel guilty - that's the implied 'other half' of Pistorius Senior's advice. Because moving forward is always better than being paralysed by fear.