tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1489173439865061632.post5314098092354503095..comments2024-03-21T07:04:24.033-04:00Comments on THE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM A Blog by Donna Thomson: Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11368028391616959419noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1489173439865061632.post-81874618899888520612011-02-08T12:44:45.701-05:002011-02-08T12:44:45.701-05:00Hi Donna. I came across your blog from facebook, s...Hi Donna. I came across your blog from facebook, scanned down a few posts and found this one interesting. I never thought about how invisible I feel. And yes, just writing this makes me teary. I guess I am still deep in the trenches with care for my daughter. I am her single parent, she is full care in every way, as well as being nonverbal. And I work(RN) four evenings a week. I feel like I am just making it through these years. Sarah is 14.<br />There is nothing I do to make me more visible, I don't have the time, the energy or the financial resources. I am just so tired. So very tired.<br />But, for some reason, inside myself, I feel that things will lighten up in the future as Sarah grows older. I hope so. I am generally an optimistic person :)<br /><br />And until then, I am going to think about ways to make ME more visible. Thankyou for your post!<br /><br />Lesley (I usually add 'mom to Sarah' here, but I won't because I've got to start somewhere!)lesleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09501503992952033631noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1489173439865061632.post-68120812024099588312011-01-04T05:54:56.366-05:002011-01-04T05:54:56.366-05:00Thank you for your thoughtful and honest reflectio...Thank you for your thoughtful and honest reflections, Laurie. I agree with you 100% about the political challenge of making invisible caring (which is good!) visible in order to support it and recognize its worth to society. <br /><br />Thank you for sharing your experience!<br />DonnaThe Caregivers' Living Roomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10920119448415733545noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1489173439865061632.post-45764067647982132662011-01-02T14:08:54.031-05:002011-01-02T14:08:54.031-05:00Thank you for this post Donna. Being a full-time ...Thank you for this post Donna. Being a full-time caregiver to 2 sons with significant disabilities for more than 20 years (actually 23 years ago today my son Ben was born), I can relate to that invisibility. For many years I faded completely from view from everyone except my family and the school (and the school likely wished I was invisible!). Once I became involved with Community Living, that changed, but slowly and not necessarily easily. I remember in the early days of my involvement being at meetings with gov't folks and being introduced as a 'mom'. Got a smile and a nod and then I vanished! I used to joke that I had a 'cloak of invisibility' that rivaled anything the Klingons were ever able to develop. When I would speak I would take people by surprise, they had not realized I was still there. I soon realized that to be visible you had to be more than present, you had to be heard. I talk a lot more now!<br /><br />I still fade in and out, between invisible caregiver and visible activist. I know that there is a 'me' beyond those 2 roles, but after all these years trying to figure that part out is still a work in progress. Raising, knowing and loving my boys has certainly changed me in very profound and positive ways. I am not who I was before I had kids and I am grateful for all that my boys have given me.<br /><br />So, personally, I too look forward to becoming more visible to myself in 2011.<br /><br />As far as supports to caregivers are concerned, I think the reason it is so hard to get these in place is because for the most part the caregivers are invisible. We need them (or as many of them as possible) to become both visible and heard. That remains a challenge for this movement, finding invisible people and then convincing them to throw off that cloak and start demanding what they and their children need and deserve. Here is hoping that 2011 can be the year we can succeed in that task!!<br /><br />Happy New Year Donna!<br />LaurieAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com